i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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