There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
