How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize