ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
