Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
