I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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