Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
God I need to hump something, right now.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
