Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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