Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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