playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
