omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
it was like eating out sand paper
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
