Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
