Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
