Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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