I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
