Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
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