yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
