I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
