All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
