your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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