Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
