I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
