so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
