ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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