guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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