He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize