just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
