I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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