I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize