I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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