Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
