Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
