were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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