I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
