I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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