i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
