You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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