you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
