Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize