Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
As shirtless as possible
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
