Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize