I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
