I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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