Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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