She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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