Tell her she can't have a vagina
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
