I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize