The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Still dying that you shit outside
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
