i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
