i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
