I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
