you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We have so much sex to catch up on
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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