Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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