i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Randomize
