You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize