there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize