He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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