He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
should my penis look like a turkey
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
