Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize