at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I CAN MOONWALK!
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
