it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
