he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
