Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
