Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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