I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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