Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize