OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Randomize
