i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just found a bag of teeth...
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
