some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
