I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
