So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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