so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
