I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
