CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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