i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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