My room smells like vodka and shame
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
