Moan for me like Helen Keller
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Randomize
