Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
