Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
This house was built for laser tag.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
