Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Buhtt sex?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
