The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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